So, you’re a sister gearing up for the preference round of recruitment or maybe you’re a potential new member (PNM) trying to figure out what to expect from these critical conversations.
Either way, this is the part of recruitment that truly matters. It’s the final chance for both you and the PNM to see if your sorority is the right fit.
As a sister, you might feel a little pressure to “sell” your chapter or come up with some perfect speech.
But here’s the thing: the preference round is about connection, not perfection. It’s a moment for you to share your genuine experiences and insights that show what your sorority means to you. You don’t need a script; you need authenticity.
And for the PNM, they want to know not just what your chapter does but how it feels to be part of it.
In this blog post, I’ll walk you through what to talk about during the preference round in a way that feels real, grounded, and, most importantly, human. I’ll also provide examples, share my insights, and point out common mistakes to avoid.
The Art of Building a Connection: Start with Relatability
When you’re meeting a potential new member, the first thing to keep in mind is that they’re likely feeling nervous.
They may have already experienced a whirlwind of conversations, and now they’re here, deciding if your sorority feels like the right home.
It’s your job to make them feel like they belong. So, before diving into what you love about your chapter, take the time to relate to them as a person first.
Example: Start with a Simple Icebreaker
If the PNM seems a little shy or anxious, give them an easy, low-stakes question to get the conversation going.
- You: “How are you holding up? This process can be so exhausting, but I’m sure you’ve learned a lot about yourself along the way, right?”
This breaks the ice and opens the door for the PNM to share their experience. It also lets them see that you understand what they’re going through – it’s not just about selling your sorority; it’s about empathizing with them. This helps you connect on a human level.
Personal Example: Making it Relatable
When I went through the preference round as a PNM, I had sisters ask me about my hobbies and passions.
One of them even noticed I had a small camera around my neck and said, “Are you into photography? That’s awesome! I’m really into capturing moments too.”
It made the conversation feel less like an interrogation and more like a chat between two people with common interests.
What to Talk About: Share Your Personal Journey
Once you’ve set the stage for a relaxed conversation, it’s time to shift toward sharing your experience in the chapter.
But this isn’t about reciting the chapter’s mission statement or listing all the events your sorority hosts. It’s about telling your personal story and showing how your chapter fits your life.
Focus on Personal Growth and Belonging
When sharing your personal experience, focus on the emotional and personal growth you’ve experienced in your time as a sister.
Did you join because you wanted a deeper sense of community? Were you looking for leadership opportunities?
Or did you join because you wanted a group of women who would hold you accountable and support you in ways you hadn’t even realized you needed?
- You: “For me, being a part of this chapter has helped me grow so much. I wasn’t always confident in myself, but having sisters around me who encourage me every day has made a huge difference. I’ve really found my voice here, especially through leadership opportunities like [specific role or event].”
Personal Example: Leadership and Transformation
Take the time to explain how your chapter has nurtured you. For instance, if you were shy but now hold a leadership position, share that journey with them. Show how you weren’t just accepted but transformed by the sisterhood.
- You: “When I joined, I was so nervous about taking on any leadership roles. But now, I’m the [specific role] and I never thought I’d be able to step up like this. The sisters here have always pushed me to take chances, and I’m so grateful for that.”
This gives the PNM a clear idea of how being part of your chapter has impacted you on a deeper level.
Dive into the Sisterhood: Share Real, Raw Moments
What makes your chapter unique? It’s easy to focus on accomplishments and big events, but often it’s the small, everyday moments that make a chapter feel like home. Share the moments that show your sisterhood is about support, love, and genuine connection.
Personal Moments That Make the Difference
Talk about the little things that set your chapter apart. Maybe it’s those late-night study sessions, spontaneous hangouts, or the fact that you and your sisters always have each other’s backs, no matter what.
- You: “Honestly, it’s those quiet moments that have made all the difference. Like last week when we had a spontaneous girls’ night and ended up just eating pizza and watching movies until midnight. Those simple moments of connection are what keep me grounded.”
Example of Connection Through Challenges
You can also talk about how your chapter supported you during tough times. Maybe a sister reached out when you were feeling low, or you had a group chat where everyone shared their personal victories.
- You: “During finals last semester, I was really stressed out. But the support from my sisters kept me going. We created a study group, shared tips, and just made sure to check in on each other. It’s not just about the big stuff, it’s about how we lift each other up every day.”
Highlighting Shared Values: Let the PNM See Themselves
While personal stories are important, this is also the time to ensure that your chapter’s values align with what the PNM is looking for. Talk about the core values that make your sorority a place where individuals can thrive.
Be Clear About the Chapter’s Values
Don’t just talk about what your chapter does; talk about why your chapter does it. What are your sorority’s values, and how do those values come to life in your daily experiences? How does your chapter foster growth, service, leadership, and community?
- You: “We focus a lot on empowering each other through personal development. Whether it’s the leadership opportunities we get or the volunteering we do together, it’s all about building each other up so we can make an impact in the world.”
Real-World Example: Values in Action
Explain how the chapter’s values translate into real-world action. For instance, if community service is a key value, share an impactful service project your chapter participated in and how it made a difference in both the community and in the sisters involved.
- You: “One of my favorite memories from my time in the chapter was when we volunteered at [specific charity or event]. It wasn’t just about helping others—it was about coming together as a sisterhood and making a real difference. That’s what I love most about being part of this chapter: it’s not just about having fun together, it’s about doing good together.”
Mistakes to Avoid During the Preference Round
While it’s important to be genuine and authentic, there are a few common mistakes that you should avoid in the preference round.
| Mistake | Why it’s a Problem | How to Avoid It |
| Talking too much about your chapter’s accomplishments | It can come off as bragging or make it feel like you’re just trying to sell the chapter. | Share personal stories and focus on the emotional connection. |
| Overloading with information about the chapter’s values | It can sound like a speech instead of a real conversation. | Keep it brief, focus on what those values mean to you, and share real examples. |
| Being too formal or scripted | It can make the conversation feel stiff or unnatural. | Relax, be yourself, and let the conversation flow organically. |
| Not letting the PNM speak enough | It can feel one-sided and disengaging. | Ask questions, listen, and make sure to give the PNM space to share. |
Conclusion: Make the Preference Round Count
The preference round is a chance to show potential new members the heart of your sisterhood. It’s not about a perfect script or reciting facts about your chapter it’s about connecting, sharing personal stories, and showing what it truly means to be a part of your sorority.
By focusing on personal experiences, creating an authentic connection, and aligning your values with what the PNM is looking for, you’ll make the preference round memorable, meaningful, and impactful.
